Last time we discussed the concept of finding a mate in your league and how to step up in class by posting a nice photo. Now that you have posted a few good photos it's time to make sure your written profile is, "well, written well."
You want to put your best foot forward by describing how wonderful you are in a way that doesn't sound like you're bragging. You also want to attract people with similar interests who exhibit traits you want and admire in a mate.
It makes no sense to describe yourself as you think others would want. For example, some women say they love watching sports thinking that will attract the macho guy they desire. Then they meet the perfect guy - only problem is, he likes to watch sports all day and this lady has no interest.
Then there is the case of the person who states they love the outdoors and going camping when, in fact, outdoor roughing it to them is staying at a Motel 6 instead of the Four Seasons.
As you can see, if you are not truthful, there's a good chance you'll meet, and possibly endup with an incompatible match. It’s difficult enough in the dating and mating world
without using deception to find a best friend and lover.
Many Internet dating sites offer check-offs lists to show your interests. Some people must blindly start checking off so many interests they can't be real. Like the women who ski, mountain climb, Zumba, ballroom dance, cook gormet meals, run marathons, knit, lead archeological digs and maintain active ant farms. Really, now! I get tired just reading a profile like that and can't imagine keeping up with this person. Some people are just trying to appeal to anyone and everyone, and that's not a smart move.
Be honest. If you have few interests and are a wallflower, so be it. That's what you need to find. You will save both yourself and others much wasted time by being honest. In your case a description like, "I enjoy watching television and reading Playboy. Not much for going anywhere or doing things outside much." This may be your perfect profile. Sure, you may have to wait awhile to have anyone answer your calling, but hey, that's you.
The other day, a woman stated in her profile that she didn’t wish to write much of anything about herself, because, after all, "every profile is going to be great," so why not meet her to “fill in the profile for yourself.” That was very clever and thoughtful, however, all profiles are not great. There are things revealed in what one writes that can keep us away from losers if we are astute. For example, control freaks are often revealed in profile writings: “Looking for a guy who can keep me interested and treat me like the woman I am. Must dance, like theater and enjoy being yelled at.” You might want to stay away from that one.
One profile was a rant against all the guys who have already contacted her: “No winks or flirts. What’s the matter? Can’t you read my profile to see what I want? Can’t you write a note and stop with the flirts? Have a recent photo. I’m not interested in a photo of your car or places you went on vacation. If you want to meet me we first have to do email, then phone and if you are right for me, we can meet. Chemistry is a must and you better be fit because I am.”
Yes, that may not be your dream girl -even if she looks hot in her photo. Think high maintainance! You really can spot them with some certainty just like some guys photos can tell you which ones are players.
Many profiles are so fraught with typos and illiteracy that you can immediately tell this ones never went too far in school. Better to find out now.
I would usually suggest that each person should have an English teacher review postings to clean them up, however, that may give the wrong impression that you are educated when you are not. It would be like posting a photo with all your front teeth photo-shopped in while in real life you are missing a few. That first smile when you answer the door is a dead giveaway!
It’s all about being honest, and if that means you’re a bitch or a bum, let it show now so the rest of us don’t have to waist our time. Don’t worry, there are a lot of your types out there and if you’re lucky you’ll find each other.
There are certain code words used in Internet dating profiles that can help you. Take the word generous and see how its used: "Looking for successful, generous, kind guy to live out my life with.” Generous is code for looking for rich guy to take care of me and my kids until the divorce, after which I'll be set for life."
How about the descriptions used in describing bodies: average often means fat but not obeses, athletic and toned often means fat and possibly obese, and when you see a few extra pounds that means morbidly obese. Are you catching on to the way code words work?
Once again, it is best to be honest. Why would you want to deceive someone into meeting you if your interests, and looks/chemistry are not compatible? It's no different than posting a photo of yourself that's ten years old. No one is interested in what you used to look like. No one is interested in a fictional description.
Yorumlar