Do You Kiss, Hug, Shake Hands, or Wave Goodbye to Your Date?
- Robert M. Fleisher
- Sep 15
- 3 min read
At the end of a first date, there is always the dilemma as to how to say goodbye. Last time we discussed what to say, now we must determine what to do. There are really only
four choices: wave, shake hands, hug, or kiss. If you wish to get technical, the degree of kiss can add additional choices from hand, to cheek, to lip, to tongue, and this too shall
be addressed so that you will be well prepared.
If everything went really well, you don’t have to wave goodbye. You pick one of the other options.
The hard part is when you don’t know how well you hit it off. That’s when you have to make a decision. After all, some people are just being polite and act like they are having a nice time. If you go in for the kiss, you may find rejection keeping you company on your
ride home.
If you really, really hit it off, you may actually find yourself in bed with this person (keep in mind this is after a Starbucks Frappuccino that should find you rather perky in the sack, unless you are lactose intolerant, and then watch out), so the French kiss is an obvious way to say goodbye.
Again, it’s those times you can’t tell how well it went that will find you searching for the proper way to say goodbye.
Here’s the rule of thumb: you can never go wrong with a handshake – caveat: unless you just had sex.
The handshake shows class while revealing nothing. It prevents that embarrassing
moment when you go for a hug and the person jumps away with a look of repulsion that is hard to forget.
It can’t hurt to shoot for a little more if you think things went well. Yes, you can try for the
hug or the cute little kiss on the cheek. If things went better than well, you can always try for the kiss on the lips. It should be short and sweet. The first date goodbye is not the time for passionate kisses unless this is a date with a hooker, former hooker, gigolo, or former gigolo.
Keep in mind, this moment of saying goodbye is a special chance to make a big statement about how you feel. It can make the difference between a callback and not.
If there is no interest in pursuing this person, the wave is all you need to do, unless they put out their hand, in which case you can’t be rude. You shake and say, It was nice getting to meet you,” and you walk away. If you get a wave, you probably shouldn’t call this person again. If they come in for a hug or a kiss, they are telling you they want to see you again, and you should go for it if you, too, want to start a relationship. Even if you don't plan on seeing this person again, accept the hug as a gesture of kindness.
If you have already expressed your desire to see this person again and they agreed, opt for a hug or cheek kiss, as it is the classy way to say goodbye. This is not to preclude the option for a serious kiss if the chemistry is there. You will probably know if the chemistry is there or not if they punch you at this stage of the date. If you tried the tongue thing and they bite it, they don't want to see you again. Be gracious, say goodnight, and get home fast to put ice on your bruised tongue.
Remember, saying goodbye is the final chance you have to let this person know that you wish to pursue the relationship. It's a two-way street. If you read people well, you'll know what to do.
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