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  • Writer's pictureRobert M. Fleisher

Dating and Dirty Dancing

Dating and dancing go together like Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. Women, more than men, like to dance. If a guy is a good dancer, he's a commodity in social circles. And because so many men can't dance well, those that can are going to get the hottest women.

However, dancing is much more complicated than a couple trotting around on the dance floor. Dancing is an art form, a recreation, a hobby and a pastime for starters. Many people do not realize that dancing is integrally tied to sex and fertility. How, you might ask, is dancing all about sex? How can being a good dancer get you to the bedroom?.

From days of early man, dance has been part of the primitive jungle experience (check out YouTube to watch a real Zulu dance if you are looking for some new steps). Even back then, dance was much more than a social amenity. Early dance was all about sex. Primitive man used dance to attract the better, more fertile women in the tribe. Those better women wanted the smooth dancer, figuring that his genes would help make their son cool and some day she would be mother to the tribal Chief. Next time you go to a wedding, look at all the people on the dance floor, and you will see some interesting anthropological events playing out. You should easily be able to pick out the next Chief and his Princess.

First and foremost, you will notice the bride dancing somewhat wildly with her girlfriends. This is the fertility dance, and they are getting her ready to dance with the groom, also wildly. This is prelude to the bride and groom going to their room, tent, hut, whatever, at the end of the night and throwing up all the alcoholic drinks they thought were going to let them have a good time in bed after their wedding; the wedding they forgot about by morning.

Fortunately for premarital sex, the bride will probably have a child in a little less than the usual 9 months in spite of the failed fertility dance.

Next notice the bridal party and the young people dancing up a storm. Like primitive man, they are all trying to find a good mate. You know, one that can keep a beat and dance up a storm. As the evening goes on, and the more they drink, they start looking pretty cool on the dance floor. Only problem is they don't look so cool to the rest of the guests who weren't drinking.

Now a leap is required to explain the dancing done by the "old people" in attendance. These folks no longer need to attract a life partner. They have their mates who are rather obedient and

captivated. Wife: "Would you like to dance, dear?" Husband: "Yes your highness."

On to the dance floor they go. What you are about to see coming from this group are more likely moves to encourage a bowel movement. Yes, at some point in life, a good doody takes precedent

over the need to attract a fertile mate. They step to the left and to the right, they shake their booty and wave their hands in the air. Now look close. If you see any of these old people crouch down as if to perform some hip-hop dance move, that's the exact moment

they pooped in their pants. To be sure, keep watching as they will make a sudden exit for the bathroom while walking that walk required to keep the contents within their underpants.

Actually dancing is rather fun if you know how. If you don't, consider some lessons or have a friend show you a basic step. It's actually easy and you will make your mate happy.

The next time you go on a dancing date, either just to go dancing, or to celebrate at a party or a wedding, consider why you are there, and dance accordingly. Oh, forget the prunes the morning you plan on dancing.

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